A COVID entrepreneur

I awoke to quite a start the other morning. I dreamed that I was making Christmas ornaments out of beer cans. Don’t worry, it wasn’t cheap beer. It was a local brewpub label which would create a nice merry glow on anyone’s Christmas tree.

The confusing part is that my cold beverage of choice is Pepsi. I have plenty of Pepsi cans and burrito wrappers clanking around the back of my truck.

But this dream got my entrepreneurial spirit going, and I thought about making a snow globe filled with little COVID snowflakes floating about covering the world. And when all the COVID flakes settle, the only thing showing is a small white flag.

Or how about a Happy Face globe with a face mask covering everything but the eyes? And to be fair, we could make one with the mask being worn effectively down around the chin of the Happy Face.

Or I could make t-shirts that say COVID Free by 2023. Ugh!

So how are we going to go shopping this year – the year that COVID took over our lives and sucked the fun out of everything?

I can’t figure out if I’m caught in Groundhog Day, the Millennium has started, or I time traveled to Volume 17 of The Wheel of Time series. Ugh!

Yep, it finally happened. When I’m off my meds, I wander about babbling about the good old days and how we used to have dial phones and land lines, we had to write checks at Jensen’s Food, I could wear Crocs for more than boating, and education was really just copying the Encyclopedia Britannica for all my school reports.

I even used a phone book as a booster seat to give Matthew his first haircut. And of course, I distinctly remember how good I looked in my high waisted pants, stylish mullet, and creeper mustache.

This COVID fatigue is taking its toll on me. There are things that COVID has completely ruined.

For example, blowing out candles on your birthday cake. First, you can’t have a party, unless you’re in Utah County and it’s Halloween and ten thousand of your close friends decide it is a good idea. But I digress.

There are a host of other things COVID has ruined like buffet lines and free samples of food at the grocery store. When I was in college that was considered date night. Go down to Smith’s and get a few hors d’oeuvres before going to the dollar movie.

Think of all the changes COVID brought: toilet paper hording; curbside pickup; washing our hands; Zoom meetings; home schooling; masks; stay home if you are sick; vacant churches, cruise ships, theaters, and planes; cancelled funerals, weddings, and graduations; online school; social distancing; sanitizers everywhere; and everybody asking, “what day is it?”

COVID closed all the hair salons, tanning places, waxing centers, and nail salons. I can’t help but think things are going to get ugly around here.

Lastly, this COVID thing is trying if you are a “people-person” and need lots of human interaction and attention.

Just try to give someone a handshake, high-five, or hug these days. You can just about see the COVID germs jump forward as much as the unsuspecting acquaintance jumps back.

Oh sure, you might be able to give someone an elbow-bump or a foot-bump, but for us extraverts that is not nearly as satisfying as a full-frontal hug.

Although, to be truthful, many a nice lady turned 180 degrees and went to the next grocery aisle when they saw me coming or shuddered as they squirmed and turned their head away.

So now I have to stay six feet away and give an “air” hug. Ugh!

Once I get my beer can ornaments going you’ll be able to find them on Etsy, Pinterest, or our own Moxsi…#mainstreetdrugandboutique and other fashionable outlets.

Nothing says class like a beer can Christmas ornament. Tell them CaveGuy sent you; that’ll get you thrown out or a discount depending on which lady you talk to.

San Juan Record

49 South Main St
PO Box 879
Monticello, UT 84535

Phone: 435.587.2277
Fax: 435.587.3377
Open 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday

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