Relishing the Ploughman’s Lunch

Ah, the English countryside with rolling hills of green grasses, wildflowers, and forests, valleys with villages nestled deep within, cattle grazing, and sheep blocking the roadways.
Driving into one of these quaint villages, parking outside the pub, walking in, and being greeting by the publican and his smiling wife.
“What’ll it be yer havin’?” he asks.
You answer with, “A pint of bitter and Ploughman’s Lunch will do me fine.”
“Right then, let me get to pouring while the wife puts together yer food. Sit anywhere yer like, oh oy, don’t be mindin’ that body at the far table. Constable will be comin’ soon to clean that all up.”
Welcome to Midsomer, where murder is as frequent as a leaky roof on the local church.
All this past week I have been enjoying another marathon of watching “Midsomer Murders”, with 23 of its 25 seasons available on Tubi.
The ads are few, and short. “Midsomer” began in 1997 and is still as popular in 2025 as when it first began, with DCI Tom Barnaby, or his cousin, DCI John Barnaby.
There’s a new DC every few years and a variety of quirky characters. There are villains of all ages – from children to seniors – vicious, logical, insane, or senile following typical motives of greed, lust, envy, and “just for the fun of it”.
One episode from season ten called “Sauce for the Goose” begins with an unusual murder at the world-renown Plummers Relish Factory.
Tom Barnaby says to his wife, Joyce, “My father would put Plummers relish on his sandwiches every day.”
Plummers Piquant Relish is based on the authentic and world-renown English relish, Branston, but could not use the name due to copyright infringement.
When Barnaby read the ingredient label, “scotch bonnet”, a very hot pepper, was named, as this slight change would ensure, again, no copyright infringement of Branston’s.
What is English relish? It’s a very flavorful mix of vegetables, apples, dates, raisins, vinegar, spices, and flavorings.
It’s actually a type of chutney which has its culinary roots in India, but there the product is definitely more on the hotter side of the Scoville scale.
And yes, we have Branston’s in our pantry or refrigerator, both original and small chunk varieties.
Roy likes to spread it on his sandwiches, both hot and cold, but not on a daily basis as with Tom Barnaby’s father.
Personally, I find the mixture of sweet, salty, tangy, and savory to be too strong for my taste buds while Roy can eat it by the spoonful.
Now to the second item which is the Ploughman’s Lunch. Dating back to 14th-century England, it’s a meal of bread, cheese, onions, sliced meat (if any was to be had), and fruit (apples or wild berries). It was simple to gather up into a pouch and carry out to work.
In the 1950s, the Cheese Bureau created the name, “Ploughman’s Lunch” to get the populace more interested in eating cheese after World War II.
The Milk Marketing Board began using the name in the 1960s to push the idea of a simple, wholesome, and delicious meal.
Of course, any pub worth its salt would have it on the menu alongside Shepherd’s Pie, Fish and Chips, Bangers and Mash, Toad in the Hole, and Steak and Kidney Pie.
Ah, the Charcuterie board, which the French began creating in the 15th century for the rich and royal.
It consisted of a variety of richer and finer cheeses, breads, meats, condiments, fruits, and nuts and was paired with the finest wines.
It seems to have become all the rage in the USA since the end of the pandemic, when folks could socialize once more and actually share foods from the same platter.
But, when it comes to “Who did it first?”, that goes to Italy. In ancient Rome, the antipasto platter was served at the start of a banquet. Its main goal was to stimulate the appetite so the main meal would be eaten with gusto.
While Branston’s is available for purchase via Amazon, I was able to find an English food blogger who has a copycat recipe of the product. The difference is she doesn’t use the preservatives needed for the jars to sit on store shelves indefinitely.
English Pickle
Relish
For cube size, original or regular relish uses large dice, while small chunk uses small dice when cutting the fruits and vegetables.
Ingredients:
1 cup carrots, peeled and cut into small cubes, 1/2 cup rutabaga, peeled and cut into small cubes (turnips or parsnips are good substitutes), 1/2 cup red apples, peeled and cut into small cubes, 1 cup dates, chopped, 1 cup raisins, 1 cup white onions, finely chopped, 1 cup dark brown sugar, 1 and 3/4 cups malt vinegar, 1/4 teaspoon mustard powder, 1 teaspoon ground allspice, 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
Instructions:
Add all ingredients to a large saucepan (2-quart); bring to a simmer (low heat) and cook for 1 hour until the rutabaga is tender and the liquid is reduced and syrupy, allow to cool.
The blogger’s method of sterilizing jars and lids: Preheat oven to 225°F.
Wash the jars and lids in hot soapy water and rinse well. Place them on a baking sheet and allow them to dry in the preheated oven for ten minutes. After ten minutes, turn off the oven and leave them in there until you are ready to use them.
Fill the jars with the pickle and seal. Refrigerate for two weeks, then the pickle is ready to eat. For longterm preservation, will keep for up to six weeks when refrigerated
Yield: 8-16-ounce mason jars with a screw-top lid.